Jay is key to the group because he's the master of providing the punch line--whether its with funny words, breaking down or crashing... Jay is NOT a cement truck driver by day, but he really could be with the experience he has driving his "wheelbarrow full of cement", Ski-Doo Formula. (Recently Replaced, but still fun to talk about)

Jay emotionally states every time we go out that he can out-drive any of us using outdated and inferior equipment. We always let him try to prove it AFTER we start his sled for him. Let's put it this way--He's not known for pulling over his own sled. (Problem solved, Jay went 500 this year...no, not with electric start, but he may actually be able to pull it over)

Without further ado, a word about Jay from our fearless leader Jimmy:

Now brother Jay once bragged that he could ride and lead the best of us. The first time we took him to big snow country in 1995, he brought along his "mighty" Centurion Polaris. We all advised Jay (even F-Bob who use to own a trusty Centurion) that the trails can get rough and that we travel a lot of miles a day...so he might want to invest in some more dependable, easier starting, better riding technology. Not impressed with our suggestions and stating that he would pass us all up on the trail with the mighty Centurion we proceeded on a trip to Copper Harbor from Twin Lakes--approximately 175 miles round trip.

Now there is a certain portion of that trail that can be--and usually is--very rough. But as timing in life is everything, there is a bar-stop just after the rough trail, and we usually stop. (Jay is well know by fellow snowmobilers and locals alike for his winning comment, "Is it normal for a guy to piss blood after riding these trails?") Jay proceeded to excessively whine about the trails while at the same time consuming alcohol to prep himself for the rest of the expected brutal trip back to the cabin. Witnesses will attest that Jay did SO MUCH whining that they kept the stop short so they could get their helmets back on and not have to hear him any longer.

After leaving the bar, guess what? The groomer had left two hours before and the next segment of the trail was like paved highway. So Jay lit up the Centurion, blasted by everyone and down the trail he went intent on showing us how great a rider he was.

Now you have to understand that this trail goes straight for about 3 miles then there are a series of S-turns. With Jay in the lead, brother John (Jay's protector and defender) was #2 in line, and I was #3... Jay and John hit the first S turn at about 60 to 70 miles per hour. As brother Jay started through the corner a strange thing happened: His riding technique suddenly changed from rider to ghost-rider as the Centurion drifted further and further out of the corner. Then in a stunning show of defensive driving, Jay exited stage right--aka bailed--and the Centurion went sailing straight between two trees, off a rivine and ended up upside down six feet below in a small creek--still running.

As Jay stood there part shocked, part embarassed and part impressed because he bailed in time, perplexed brother John (the protector) looked at Jay and said, "Jesus Christ...you gonna stand here and look at it?" Jay didn't react so down the bank John flew and turned off the machine (all the time ready to strangle Jay). We hauled it out, but the poor Centurion never ran quite the same again."

There's so many stories about Jay that its actually hard to remember them individually. One vision keeps popping up though: Jay being towed. Jay's practiced trail-side maintenance several times because he sees no benefit to regular maintenance. What challenge is maintaining your sled indoors, in a heated garage, with all your tools in reach with the proper lighting and sobriety? That's no challenge at all. ...If you do help him fix his sled however, don't forget to ask Jay if he has any missing parts--they're probably in his coat pocket waiting for someone to figure out where they came from... (at least they're not rolling around in the belly pan inconveniencing Jay with all that noise!)

Granted, the picture of Jay above is not that clear--and for the record, that's not his sled he's sitting on...the one behind it is his. ANYWAY, if you can't see him in the picutre--just look for a guy in the bar who talks for hours about nothing. If you can't understand a word he's saying--that's probably Jay! We love ya brother!

Email Jay